Black Tie Lounge

 I remember learning about a year ago about the message Martin Luther King would have delivered Sunday April 7 1968, had he not been killed.  It was titled Why America May Go to Hell.   I've been asked to lead a ...let's call it a teaching session for my college to commemorate Dr. King and I'm looking to explore some of his more radical messages that were very critical of American politics and economics.  I think I may have found an actual transcript.  It's posted on a medium site and I'm looking to vet this. In the process of that I thought to reach out to Dr. Clark to see what insights he could give on this. I see that he did a blog on King back in 2020 so I'll check that out. For some reason, Dr. Daniel White Hodge came to mind.  It took me a minute to remember his name but he has a book on Intercultural Communication that I have yet to read but yeah... it's the connection to critical, socially just Christianity and what's fascinating is that he is...

 It feels like a uphill battle.  Why should I journal? I've been doing this for over a decade honestly.  Over a decade of NOT writing.  I'm going to try to have compassion on myself for this because the truth is that I am shouldering way more than I ever have in my entire life.  I wasn't a father when I first started blogging or spending time with God in my writing.  I wasn't a husband. I was in a different place physically, mentally and so much more. So I'll do my best to take it in stride. I do wonder what it will be like and what will come up if I just commit to writing 30 minutes a day for 10 days straight. Listening to The Walk, the host said writing was like breathing.  I can't help but be cynical because I think back to how much time I once had. Do I use being married and being a father as an excuse.  Who am I really?  If I could do anything in the world what would it be. At one point it was going to be a concert for young people....

Five days later.  Ok.  The gap is closing. I meant to get to this earlier. From sitting still for 30 seconds to hoping in the shower to opening my laptop to type to checking and responding to messages here I am and I have extended the time I wanted to sit back.  So let me just stay in the moment.   As always there is so much on my mind. I'm glad to have Tuesdays and Thursdays as think days, chill days, days I have open. Even if I squander it all, which I want to avoid, at least it is there so I can not lack of time as an excuse.  I can make time when I need to.  I don't know how I ended up...let's take stock of this particular season. How did I end up with so many ministries of PT in my lap. Let's take stock of how I'm evaluating them. Prayer ministry:  I only do this once a month and for me it's filling a need that the church has in terms of volunteers.  What if I asked the question. God did you really call me here? I think, I believe He did...

 Lord, you know.  Do I even love to write anymore? I did, I used to. I'm not sure I do anymore. That could be a general fear or lack of belief behind the power of what is in me to say. I do have something to say and I believe that it is being informed.  I do experience a fear that I'm not good enough. That is something I have struggled with despite the abundant evidence that shows me I am.  I am human. I have things that I am strong at and things that I honestly suck at but I have a place and I'm not meant to be like other people, even the people I look up to.  I do not come behind in anything for God, you have given me all things for life and godliness.  I may struggle temporarily but that is because I'm gaining greater coordination in the things I desire to get more fluent in. Let's stop to think of my equity journey. What drove me toward teaching, not that I ever saw myself as a teacher, was that from the time I was in college and committed my life to Ch...

 Looking at my last post I did not follow through on the journaling for 10 days straight and I'm not even mad at myself. The last 3 weeks have been so dynamic that it's a daily reprioritization. What questions do I want to answer?  What problems do I feel drawn toward solving? What is the connection between critical race theory, intersectionality and the communication discipline, particularly oral communication?  How can these frameworks and movements inform how one communicates? What role does communication play within these frameworks? What type of development do I need to teach critical race theory at a community college. I'd like to apply it to the social sciences?  Who are the communication scholars that are using critical race methodology/ applying critical race theory to the study of communication, particularly as it relates to identity and how that shapes how one communicates and interprets the world? Who are the individuals and communities that are organizin...

 Can I journal 10 days straight and see what comes to the surface?  I can, but will I? This is a serious question. Will I carve out the space to write for this period? I want to. I'll try. I want my words to stick. What's the obstacle?  The obstacle is me. Am I afraid of what I will find? Am I afraid that I'll be powerful. I don't want to say no but I don't know if it is a definitive yes. I'm going to do my best.  I still want my words to have power that in the face of the things I want to shrink back from that i definitively say with all conviction yes I will.   Here are all the things I thought of in under 2 seconds.  O will hold me accountable but I don't know if i want that. I thought of Que and all that they are experiencing. I have not brought myself to pray. Why does this feel painful to me. I don't know what I can do in this situation. It feels overwhelming to me and I'm not the one at the center of this experience. I'm going to pray into...

"Dear Gordon, Congratulations! We are pleased to offer you a placement in the 2023 Cohort for AAPF's Summer Fellowship Program!" This was sheer music to my ears.  After two e-mails in early May expressing thanks for applying and telling me they will reach out to candidates they choose to interview and after an e-mail a week ago expressing interest in interviewing me to a second interview, to bask in this news is beyond anything that I could imagine. I honestly went from dragging my feet to apply to this, having doubts about my intellectual acumen, because I didn't believe I had a good enough or recent writing sample, to giving myself grace and celebrating the fact that I applied, to the fact that I got an interview. This is so refreshing to see that others see me as valuable and wanting to work with me.  I'm going to bask in the affirmation I feel to be a part of this.  I'm grateful to have put myself out there.  So here goes! I told everyone I knew. I'm t...