Black Tie Lounge

Ever since I heard this song I believed in this brotha. Peep this and tell me what it makes you think about.

That they do! Why is it that all you have to do is throw a little kid in something and it automatically becomes more entertaining than before. I mean for real, think about how many videos are on YouTube of people singing or dancing. Put a kid in those same videos and the appeal automatically doubles. Think I'm joking, check the views and the comments.

In working at this youth center with school age children, I've come to the conclusion that there needs to be some form of government-regulated test, module, or something as a way to barr all those parents that have no business raising children from doing so. Honestly!! Say what you want. A good majority of these kids would be so much better if their moma or daddy weren't the moma or daddy. Now a days kids don't have daddy's, which is really sad but for most of those men it's probably a good thing that they aren't around because they'd be the ones barred if there was ever federal regulation on child bearing. It's sad, but that's not what I want to talk about.

Since I took an interest in working with youth my first year of college, I have not failed to be surrounded by teenagers at any point in my life thereafter. What is odd is that I'm also taking an interest in younger kids. School age children are fun, especially the boys. You can toss them in the air, watch them land on the ground, dodgeball the crap out of them, flip them upside down, scare them, and then get on their level and help them learn a thing or two. It's great but I admit that I often go to work wondering if that day will be the day that I slap a kid. Honestly, some of them are the most cheatingest---I know that's not a word but it will be one today---lyingest--yet another nonword--and down-right disrescpectful young rascals I've ever met. I've had to get on many of their cases because they think they can talk to me any kind of way. A counselor told a little girl, who is 8 years old, that she could not do something. The little girl began to question her choice repeatedly in a way that was annoying and disrespectful. Something rose up in me and I interrupted the girl. I told her that when an adult says something she is to listen and not to question. I messed up because I asked if she does that to her mom--who is 23 or 25. She said yes. I said "We're not your moma, so please know that when you are here you will not act in that manner towards us." Say what you want. To the nice parents that want their kids to be their friend, I probably sound like a jerk. To all the real parents that are willing to risk it by whipping that child's ass in order to get the best out of them, make some noise cuz we are on the same level.

I still love them and I like the fact that they are learning as I'm learning. On a ligher note, here are some videos of a few kids that I think are pretty cool. My cousin's son who is ....I think he's 3 and my Pastor's grandson who is 6. I would get some vid of the kids at the youth center but that's probably not a good look professionally. Enjoy!

I got a phone call from a friend that works as an instructor for Upward Bound. She's white but has a serious heart for urban youth. We were both talking about how the black man is becoming extinct, which is a major topic of concern in the type of research that she does. I had the same conversation two weeks ago with a few friends. The black man is becoming extinct and we, myself included, need to step up

Below is an excerpt from research done by the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies Health Policy Institute. I've copied and pasted some of the stats for you. Read the entire report here. Let me know what you think.

Black Male Students at Public Flagship Universities in the U.S. Status, Trends, and Implications for Policy and Practice

By Shaun R. Harper For JOINT CENTER FOR POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC STUDIES HEALTH POLICY INSTITUTE,WASHINGTON, D.C. THE DELLUMS COMMISSION Better Health Through Stronger Communities: Public Policy Reform to Expand Life Paths of Young Men of Color

Copyright 2006 by the Joint Center for Political and Economic Studies
1090 Vermont Ave., Suite 1100, NW, Washington, DC, 20005

• In 2002, black men comprised only 4.3 percent of all students enrolled at institutions of higher education, the same as in 1976.
• Across all racial/ethnic groups, gender gaps in enrollment are widest among black students, with black women outnumbering their male counterparts by 27.2 percentage points.
• Between 1977 and 2003, black male degree attainment increased by an average of 0.2 percentage points. The most significant gains were at the associate’s degree level. Only 147 more doctorates were awarded to black men in 2003 than in 1977.
• Across all degree levels, white men earned more than ten times the number of degrees awarded to their black male counterparts.
• Nationally, more than two-thirds (67.6 percent) of black men who start college do not graduate within six years, which is the lowest college completion rate among both sexes and all racial/ethnic groups in higher education.
• In 2004, 10.4 percent of male undergraduates in higher education were black. Yet, black men represented 30.5 percent of all male student athletes in Division I sports, the National Collegiate Athletic Association’s highest level of competition. They comprised 54.6 percent of football teams and 60.8 percent of men’s basketball teams at Division I institutions.
• Across four cohorts of college student-athletes, 47 percent of black men graduated within six years, compared to 60 percent of white males and 62 percent of student-athletes overall. The averages across four cohorts of basketball players were 39 percent and 52 percent for black men and white men, respectively. Forty-seven percent of black male football players graduated within six years, compared to 63 percent of their white teammates. In each section of this report, these inequities are examined more closely within the context of public flagship universities in each state. Some key findings include the following:
• In 2000, black men represented 7.9 percent of the 18- to 24-year-olds in the U.S. population. Across the 50 flagship universities examined in this report, they comprised 2.8 percent of undergraduate student enrollments in 2004.
•In 44 states, there were disparities between the enrollments of black males at the public flagship institutions and their representation among 18- to 24-year-old citizens within those states.
• In 2004, 30 of the 50 flagship universities each enrolled less than 500 black male undergraduates.
• The mean six-year graduation rate for black men at flagship universities was 44.3 percent in 2004, compared to 61.4 percent for white men and 53.2percent for black women.
• At 21 flagship institutions, more than one out of every five black men on campus was a student athlete in 2004. At 42 institutions, more than one of every three football players was black. Fifty percent or more of the basketball teams were comprised of black men at 38 public flagship institutions. Only at three universities did black male student-athletes comprise less than 20 percent of the men’s basketball teams.
• At 43 public flagship universities, six-year graduation rates were higher for white male student-athletes than for their black male teammates. The average gap was 18.9 percentage points.
• Only 12 flagship universities graduated more than half of their black male student-athletes within six years; 13 institutions graduated less than one-third of these students.

I've been working at the youth center for close to a month now. No it's not the most exciting job in the world but I'm meshing well with the kids and I like it.

Parents, please don't let your daughter leave the house looking any kind of way. No, I'm not saying that little girls should fall into a false sense of self or ascribe to a fantasized standard of beauty but every little girl wants to know she is beautiful. The way parents take care of their daughters reflects whether or not they think she is or not. What they think is acceptable for their daughters is also indication of how they answer that question. Black parents--stop letting your daughter leave the house without her hair done. All black women are serious about getting their hair done. Don't raise a black female that accepts straight bull when it comes to getting her hair done. Your daughter will grow up into a woman and the way she's used to appearing could very well affect her self image and what she think's she's worth all because you taught her that it is ok to go out without her hair did, clothes matching, body ashy, lips cracking. I know this is just a little girl but yo, parents get it together. Help her live out the beautiful woman she is by starting when she's young.

OMG!! Speaking of OMG, it is unacceptable for people to speak in text message language aloud in a conversation. When guys do it, that is just plain wrong. For some reason all the 5 and 6 year olds have a genetic disposition to cheat at whatever they play. I had to pull this little girl to the side and tell her it was not fair to move the cards in memory so the other kids couldn't find the match. She is as cute as a button but not beyond correcting. Working here has caused me to refamiliarize myself with board games such as Monopoly, Sorry, Mancala, and Chutes & Ladders. It's like the kids try to manipulate a game and tell me all kind of bullshit rules they know are not true so that they can cheat. One little girl was slick with it. We were playing Sorry and in this game you need to draw a 2 or a 1 to proceed. This chick pulls an 11 and tells me she can go. I told her to wait while I get another kid to confirm that rule. I asked two other kids and they told me she was wrong. She looked at me and told me that her rule was the way that she played. Her cheating tail! You gotta be kidding me.

I have other kids that get emotional because "they never get to go first" or because they are not winning. Man get outta here with that!

I was playing pool with another kindergartener and dude yelled out "Dammit" because he missed a shot. I was in shock and I asked him what did he say. Of course he said "Dammit." It sounded more like "dannit," but you get the picture. I looked around to see if the other counselors heard him. Normally they'd make a big scene. I crouched down to his level and asked him where he heard it from. Of course, he covered his mouth and didn't tell me. I told him not to say those words because they are for grown ups.

On a lighter note some of these kids can hoola hoop like it's nobody's business. I love when they do the stanky leg. One afternoon a 6 year old came up to me and asked me if I knew how to do the Superfreak. I said "What?" Then he proceeded to poke his backside out and girate like he was trying to make some change. I told him not to do that again. Not because it was bad, but I don't think it's in his best interest to get used to shaking like that if you know what I'm saying. He's a funny kid.

I like to get the kids to repeat stuff. One little kid is the quietest in the world. He is very soft spoken, but I like to get him to sing the hook to 50 cent's I Get Money. I see him in the hall and say what's up and he says "I know. I know. I get money." It is straight comedy for me.

More adventures at the youth center coming soon.

Break ups are hard especially if you don't see it coming. It's like I saw all the signs and tried my best to fix what was wrong but then I lost focus for a second and smash there it goes. On one hand I had so many other options calling my name but I was going to stick with what I knew. I've been holding this thing down since 2002 and despite many hits and just plain stupid things that could have been avoided I made too much of an investment to just let things go.

I'm talking about my car. It lost in a battle with an F-350 while I was on my way to work. I won't tell too much of what happened but it was my fault. My trusty '93 Corolla that has lasted for over 230K miles has taken me all over. I've had some unforgettable moments with that car and in that car. I was hoping to have a higher paying job before I started looking for a new one, but now it's time to work with what I have to make it work. I'll have to get a little creative as far as getting around. I hate being on the humble like that but here comes the season for thick skin.

I was going through my e-mails and found some material by friends I know in the entertainment business. I respect their hustle so much. What is awesome is that I know them as real people.

Allow me to introduce you to The Southern Gentleman DJ 2 Much from Fredericksburg 99.3 The Vibe. I remember about a year ago when we talked about his hustle to try to get on the radio. I'm mad proud of him. Check out his current mix. This station is just a start and definitely not an end. Here's him doing a little spoken word at Busboys & Poets.

I've plugged this guy previous times and he's back with another single entitled "Eternally Yours." It's pretty sweet so check it out. Be on the look out for upcoming projects. Keyword: iamsoul.

Last, but certainly not least I got to shoot the breeze with my boy Sam Ski the other night. He's an up and coming producer that has worked with artist in from DC to New York to LA. All I can say is that this guy is the future and the world will definitely be seeing more from him. Check out a song he produced for vocal coach extrodinare Eric Arceneax entitled Honestly. To Eric's credit I'm learning a thing or thousand from his vocal techniques myself.

It's good to have creative people in my life. Their drive keeps me pushing my limits and working even harder in my gifts and talents. I'm mad proud of my people.

As usual I come to this blog with so many jumbled thoughts of what to say and what not to say, what to hold back and what to let loose. I'd better choose my words carefully. The other day, I got up with one of my homies that graduated from George Mason and hung out with some folks he knows.

In college I was always the guy that wanted to know everyone and would take the time to do so. Now that I'm 25 and living a professional life I've gotten kinda tired, and to be honest I think I'm good on friends. So getting up with people I don't know that well was a little strange and I had to work up the energy to do so.

Whatever the case, it's 4 single, college educated, professional, under 30 black men on a Friday night. Of course we talked about sex and relationships and it was a very interesting discussion. To add to that context we are all men of faith so that adds a different perspective to how we should handle interacting with females. (See how I said should.) So the ticket item of the night was interacting with black females in the DC area. Not to write off all black women because I love em but the question of the evening was how do you get past the wall many of them put up and try to cultivate a friendship. It's not like college at all. Referencing some stories about the prevalence of single black professional females and their difficulty with finding the right man, our discussion grew very heated.

I haven't been in this area long enough to check for anyone. I actually don't care at this point cuz my eyes are occupied. Even still, I get what they were saying about cultivating a friendship. We should be able to say hi in an elevator out of courtesy without gettin the okey doke. I hear it and I see it all the time. It's like good brothers keep running into stuck up sistas and good women keep trying to work on the no good ones.

At the end of the day, it's really because men and women don't understand each other. Not as individuals but as male and female. With our gender comes ways of thinkings and ideas each of us is more oriented toward. Throw that on top of the fact that each of us has different experiences that shape our reality. At any level, when two people come together they have to seek an understanding of the other person in relation to who they are. So as far as good women seeing nothing but horrible men, and good men coming into contact with the wrong type of female, at the end of the day life is unfair. Each of us has to navigate through it with wisdom and take the good with the bad and take risks in order to get what we deserve in order to feel safe.

I like conversing with women that appear hard to talk to just to see if I can. Unless I have some type of common network or group of friends with that female then I'm not going to move forward. But this isn't everyone's story. I'm coming out of college where I've established these relationships. All I can speak of is where I am now. Not everyone has the same story. Others are working professionals and have been for awhile. With this comes a different orientation to how they pursue a mate.

Interesting discussion and there is more to come. This post was not written to write off females or males. Every good thing is worth searching for but unfortunately the negative aspects are always most available in our minds to express. I'll post the links as soon as I find them.