Black Tie Lounge

Five days later.  Ok.  The gap is closing. I meant to get to this earlier. From sitting still for 30 seconds to hoping in the shower to opening my laptop to type to checking and responding to messages here I am and I have extended the time I wanted to sit back.  So let me just stay in the moment.   As always there is so much on my mind. I'm glad to have Tuesdays and Thursdays as think days, chill days, days I have open. Even if I squander it all, which I want to avoid, at least it is there so I can not lack of time as an excuse.  I can make time when I need to.  I don't know how I ended up...let's take stock of this particular season. How did I end up with so many ministries of PT in my lap. Let's take stock of how I'm evaluating them. Prayer ministry:  I only do this once a month and for me it's filling a need that the church has in terms of volunteers.  What if I asked the question. God did you really call me here? I think, I believe He did. As much as when it

 Lord, you know.  Do I even love to write anymore? I did, I used to. I'm not sure I do anymore. That could be a general fear or lack of belief behind the power of what is in me to say. I do have something to say and I believe that it is being informed.  I do experience a fear that I'm not good enough. That is something I have struggled with despite the abundant evidence that shows me I am.  I am human. I have things that I am strong at and things that I honestly suck at but I have a place and I'm not meant to be like other people, even the people I look up to.  I do not come behind in anything for God, you have given me all things for life and godliness.  I may struggle temporarily but that is because I'm gaining greater coordination in the things I desire to get more fluent in. Let's stop to think of my equity journey. What drove me toward teaching, not that I ever saw myself as a teacher, was that from the time I was in college and committed my life to Christ, I w