Black Tie Lounge

 Can I journal 10 days straight and see what comes to the surface?  I can, but will I? This is a serious question. Will I carve out the space to write for this period? I want to. I'll try. I want my words to stick. What's the obstacle?  The obstacle is me. Am I afraid of what I will find? Am I afraid that I'll be powerful. I don't want to say no but I don't know if it is a definitive yes. I'm going to do my best.  I still want my words to have power that in the face of the things I want to shrink back from that i definitively say with all conviction yes I will.   Here are all the things I thought of in under 2 seconds.  O will hold me accountable but I don't know if i want that. I thought of Que and all that they are experiencing. I have not brought myself to pray. Why does this feel painful to me. I don't know what I can do in this situation. It feels overwhelming to me and I'm not the one at the center of this experience. I'm going to pray into

"Dear Gordon, Congratulations! We are pleased to offer you a placement in the 2023 Cohort for AAPF's Summer Fellowship Program!" This was sheer music to my ears.  After two e-mails in early May expressing thanks for applying and telling me they will reach out to candidates they choose to interview and after an e-mail a week ago expressing interest in interviewing me to a second interview, to bask in this news is beyond anything that I could imagine. I honestly went from dragging my feet to apply to this, having doubts about my intellectual acumen, because I didn't believe I had a good enough or recent writing sample, to giving myself grace and celebrating the fact that I applied, to the fact that I got an interview. This is so refreshing to see that others see me as valuable and wanting to work with me.  I'm going to bask in the affirmation I feel to be a part of this.  I'm grateful to have put myself out there.  So here goes! I told everyone I knew. I'm t

 I'm interviewing with a social justice non profit this afternoon.  Lord Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity. I'm overwhelmed with excitement. That feeling you get when you've been picked and you don't think you are good enough or have anything to offer. Is this really happening? I'm ecstatic. I'm thinking of all the people I want to talk to. I can barely contain myself right now. What's my vision? What do I want to get out of this?  Honestly, I'm looking for the opportunity to gain more skills in organizing around a cause. To be a part of how a dynamic campaign with much at stake is run. I want to learn from pioneers and people working on the ground that believe in a multiracial democracy where the voices of those on the bottom and their allies are not suppressed. I want to be in community with others that believe in pluralistic society. I believe this will inform how I approach further academic study. I also want to give voice to those in the comm