Battle of the Sexes Somewhat
As usual I come to this blog with so many jumbled thoughts of what to say and what not to say, what to hold back and what to let loose. I'd better choose my words carefully. The other day, I got up with one of my homies that graduated from George Mason and hung out with some folks he knows.
In college I was always the guy that wanted to know everyone and would take the time to do so. Now that I'm 25 and living a professional life I've gotten kinda tired, and to be honest I think I'm good on friends. So getting up with people I don't know that well was a little strange and I had to work up the energy to do so.
Whatever the case, it's 4 single, college educated, professional, under 30 black men on a Friday night. Of course we talked about sex and relationships and it was a very interesting discussion. To add to that context we are all men of faith so that adds a different perspective to how we should handle interacting with females. (See how I said should.) So the ticket item of the night was interacting with black females in the DC area. Not to write off all black women because I love em but the question of the evening was how do you get past the wall many of them put up and try to cultivate a friendship. It's not like college at all. Referencing some stories about the prevalence of single black professional females and their difficulty with finding the right man, our discussion grew very heated.
I haven't been in this area long enough to check for anyone. I actually don't care at this point cuz my eyes are occupied. Even still, I get what they were saying about cultivating a friendship. We should be able to say hi in an elevator out of courtesy without gettin the okey doke. I hear it and I see it all the time. It's like good brothers keep running into stuck up sistas and good women keep trying to work on the no good ones.
At the end of the day, it's really because men and women don't understand each other. Not as individuals but as male and female. With our gender comes ways of thinkings and ideas each of us is more oriented toward. Throw that on top of the fact that each of us has different experiences that shape our reality. At any level, when two people come together they have to seek an understanding of the other person in relation to who they are. So as far as good women seeing nothing but horrible men, and good men coming into contact with the wrong type of female, at the end of the day life is unfair. Each of us has to navigate through it with wisdom and take the good with the bad and take risks in order to get what we deserve in order to feel safe.
I like conversing with women that appear hard to talk to just to see if I can. Unless I have some type of common network or group of friends with that female then I'm not going to move forward. But this isn't everyone's story. I'm coming out of college where I've established these relationships. All I can speak of is where I am now. Not everyone has the same story. Others are working professionals and have been for awhile. With this comes a different orientation to how they pursue a mate.
Interesting discussion and there is more to come. This post was not written to write off females or males. Every good thing is worth searching for but unfortunately the negative aspects are always most available in our minds to express. I'll post the links as soon as I find them.
In college I was always the guy that wanted to know everyone and would take the time to do so. Now that I'm 25 and living a professional life I've gotten kinda tired, and to be honest I think I'm good on friends. So getting up with people I don't know that well was a little strange and I had to work up the energy to do so.
Whatever the case, it's 4 single, college educated, professional, under 30 black men on a Friday night. Of course we talked about sex and relationships and it was a very interesting discussion. To add to that context we are all men of faith so that adds a different perspective to how we should handle interacting with females. (See how I said should.) So the ticket item of the night was interacting with black females in the DC area. Not to write off all black women because I love em but the question of the evening was how do you get past the wall many of them put up and try to cultivate a friendship. It's not like college at all. Referencing some stories about the prevalence of single black professional females and their difficulty with finding the right man, our discussion grew very heated.
I haven't been in this area long enough to check for anyone. I actually don't care at this point cuz my eyes are occupied. Even still, I get what they were saying about cultivating a friendship. We should be able to say hi in an elevator out of courtesy without gettin the okey doke. I hear it and I see it all the time. It's like good brothers keep running into stuck up sistas and good women keep trying to work on the no good ones.
At the end of the day, it's really because men and women don't understand each other. Not as individuals but as male and female. With our gender comes ways of thinkings and ideas each of us is more oriented toward. Throw that on top of the fact that each of us has different experiences that shape our reality. At any level, when two people come together they have to seek an understanding of the other person in relation to who they are. So as far as good women seeing nothing but horrible men, and good men coming into contact with the wrong type of female, at the end of the day life is unfair. Each of us has to navigate through it with wisdom and take the good with the bad and take risks in order to get what we deserve in order to feel safe.
I like conversing with women that appear hard to talk to just to see if I can. Unless I have some type of common network or group of friends with that female then I'm not going to move forward. But this isn't everyone's story. I'm coming out of college where I've established these relationships. All I can speak of is where I am now. Not everyone has the same story. Others are working professionals and have been for awhile. With this comes a different orientation to how they pursue a mate.
Interesting discussion and there is more to come. This post was not written to write off females or males. Every good thing is worth searching for but unfortunately the negative aspects are always most available in our minds to express. I'll post the links as soon as I find them.
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