Coats off




I took my coat off to working at the restaurant and I said good-bye to modeling. I always do this thing where I let things go just to pick them back up again. I doubt that will be the case this time around. I decided to stop working at the restaurant because, if you've read my previous posts, all it was doing was getting in the way.

The Lord is funny. You can call it fate or destiny but for some reason although I was commended for being a great server, I could never make past a certain amount of money. Honestly, this isn't my first serving job but I made more when I worked at Shoney's in high school than I did working at this place. It was crazy. Cat's would walk out with over 100 and I could never get past 90. It wasn't even like I was getting 90 a night. After tip out I'd be lucky if I had 60. Now, you're probably thinking, "Poor Gordon. You only made $60 a night. There are people that don't have a job and you have two." Not discounting those situations. I'm grateful nonetheless. For me it was a matter of wasted time and mental creativity. I'd be in the restaurant for over 6 hours and the time I was putting in was not worth the return. Plus, I realized that I hated being there. It was only a matter of time.

Modeling. I've been with this agency since September. I'm definitely in a different place than I was when I went out to audition. I never thought that I'd stay this long or things would work out the way they have. Overall it has been a positive growth experience. The company is making some transitions that if I am to stay, I've got to go hard or go home. Unfortunately, I want to grow in other venues that I have been passionate about but have never pursued completely. My passion at a young age was to make moves on the music front. I am 26 almost 27 and have not scratched the surface to even get in the game. I'm going to get in the game, so I decided to step down from modeling. Yes, I could do both, but I want to put the effort in the area which I am passionate about. If I was passionate about modeling the way I was about music then that would be another story. Unfortunately I'm not.

I'm more passionate about not quitting and seeing how far I can go that I end up staying in seasons longer than I should. It's a funny dynamic. I'm not a quitter. If I want to see if I can be successful in an area I go and I go hard. Due to a lack of foundation, I tend to get worn out, but because I'm not a quitter, I keep my game face on and push it to the end. I'm too old to do that. I don't want to die knowing that I didn't pursue what I desired when I had the chance. So I took the step to let the agency CEO know where I stood.

Luckily he's decided to include me in the conversation concerning the agency's music capabilities. I'm excited. Hopefully things work out and that can create timeless work with the team. So long story short, I took those coats off.

Now tonight, there is another coat I have to take off.

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