Not Petroleum

In the words of my manz Tha Victor, "I got gas but it aint petroleum." Call it a sign of getting old. I don't know what it is. I eat the same things I've always eaten and my body reacts in ridiculous ways. I've had so many embarassing moments at this youth center with my flatulence--well they should be thought of as embarrasing--that I don't even bother to think about it anymore. I just let her rip. I have moments where the kids sitting next to me during a game scream out "Eww who cut the cheese," happen at least twice a week. Cunningly, I ask the same question and nonchalantly shrug it off until that one bold child says"I think it was Mr. Gordon." I slyly turn the tables on that individual and get the kids to rally around me as I accuse the bold child of cutting the cheese. Despite attempts to prove me guilty, my persusive, silver-tounged characteristics always win people onto my side. The staff and I joke about it all the time. Come to find out, I'm not the only that breaks wind in the presence of the kids.

Another embarassing moment: The center's number one bad ass--he's mad cute and sweet on some days but without fail gives the staff such a headache--approaches me while I'm standing in front of an assembly of kids. He chuckles and points as he proceeds to tell me in his 5-year old gibberish of the English language that my zipper is down. OHHH he got me. As I zipped up my fly while laughing at myself, all I could say was "Touche"

I used to take myself so seriously that things like this were never funny. Honestly kids will help you learn something about yourself and help you make light of a situation. My constant threat to them is that I'll fart in their face or mouth depending on how bold I feel that day.

I'm not all attitude and jokes. This morning I had to discipline two 6 year old boys for fighting. Now I'll let them off if they are just tussling and pushing, especially when its over some stupid stuff like one won't give the other the ball or if one is mad because one kid taunts another for losing a game. Please, kids have to get used to competition, especially little boys. The youth I am referring to kept going at each other's throats thinking I wasn't looking. Plus I noticed on youth with the "I'm bout to do something if you touch me one more time" look in his eyes. I
knew then and there that we had a problem.

I gripped both of them up and sat them in our designated time out chair and had them both look at me. I don't remember what I said but it was more along the lines of "I'm tired of you two and I'm pissed that we go through this. What is the issue? What are you going to do about this? You have have 5 minutes to fix this and come to an agreement on how to handle this. When I come back you better have a good solution."

Letting six year olds talk out their difference is unheard of. I don't even know why I did it. Frankly, I was tired because I go through the same thing each morning and I didn't have the patience to be the problem solver. So I left it up to them. Strikingly they did talk it out and actually came up with a viable solution. The original issue was the one was making fun of the other and they kept intentionally pressing each others' buttons. They decided to continune to play in the same area but promised to take a breather if either of them got mad.

I'm thinking in my head "Bull ish! Ain't no way in the world either of you are going to commit to do any of that." I gave them the benefit of the doubt because they at least both sincerely agreed to do that much. I asked, "So what happens if you don't?" They both agreed to separate locations in the event that they did get livid. I left it alone after that and I closed the conversation off with "I'm not going through this with you again so fix the problem." How do you think I handled that one? Any thoughts?