Black Tie Lounge

It's the summer of 2024. My son starts camp today. I came from the men's summit.  Had an incredible Father's Day. All the more reminder that my priority is God, my wife, my son.  I found myself going into the summit feeling like  . . .  I'm really looking for connection. I want to be included.  These are feelings that I have often and have struggled with often.  There are moments that I start to feel envious and unseen when I know I have come a long way and God sees me. I know it in my head but I fight to feel it in my heart. I can write it off as a struggle for attention but I do wonder what is underneath it.  I came to the conclusion that the emotional intimacy I know I need, but run away from, that what is available to me I discard it because it comes in a form that doesn't meet my expectation is a reflection of where I am with God.  God I know I have not pursued you.  Yes, the reality of the season is that it is much harder than before. I...

 Maybe not my best fast day. I attended the virtual mens group and honestly I couldn't find the words to really lay it all on the table for everyone. Some of it is that I feel bad because I fell like I should be grateful but I have to speak my truth. Lord, I've been experiencing some subtle anxiety as it relates to this house.  I realize that when things get rough or overwhelming I try to hide from it and not deal with it.  I believe that you will work things out with this home for us. We will get the financing. I declare that this house will be brought down to an affordable price for us and that you will make a way beyond what we could imagine. Your name is riding on this.  Despite the tight situations we have found ourselves in, we have had a roof over our head, we have not gone hungry. You have showed your goodness. So as it seems to be getting tighter God I have to really work in my heart and mind that you will come through for my family. You will come through fo...

 I'm getting my dates mixed up and merged.   What am I seeking God for in this fast? I'm seeking all around breakthrough for my life, my family, my community and the world.  I'm seeking breakthrough in my marriage and in my parenting. That I would have God's perspective of my wife and son. That selfishness would be held at bay and that I'd choose joy in how I relate to them.  That I'd find satisfaction and get out of this "well I don't want to do that, I want to be by myself."  That I'd take hold of that purpose as a husband and father. I seek breakthrough over this house and all things related to it.  That God you'd write a story where the builders/developers etc deal with us justly and with favor.  That the You'd come through for us in this closing process like no other. Help me to see this house the way You do. Help me to hold on to the truth that this is the house you found for us. I see that whenever I travel to Barnes' school ...

 I'm at Day 2. It's after 10pm but it's important that I follow through.  What's coming up for me: I just finished doing some early grading on my winter public speaking course. It's incredible all the things I have to say to pour into students when I'm NOT under a whole lot of pressure. I think that I saw that when I was teaching the classes at Emerson.  This year didn't feel like a strong year for teaching. I'm sorry.  But look at how I do my best work, at least I feel it emotionally when I'm not rushing and I'm moving at a healthy pace. It's something to be said. Today, I spent most of the day crafting e-mails thinking about the kick off for social justice prayer.  I'd like to see that ministry expand beyond our weekly prayer calls. I'm not sure what ...some type of community that is speaking into what is going on around us, in our communities and giving voice to what God is saying or what God has always said about certain things of...

I just had 20 different thoughts. I'm thinking about Justice Prayer, what questions should I ask my pastor, should I ask the team?  Who is available to be my sounding board? If I'm honest with myself I think I knew for awhile that I should step in. I just question my intellect and ability primarily because I compare myself with others and look down upon where I am. I was given this 10 day assignment over a year ago, let's go. I'm actually excited to engage in it. So 10 days of journaling 20-30 minutes and after 10 days come back and review what was shared.  I won't judge myself. I'll look for patterns. So the question is this: O raised this and so did the book by Pete.  Let me go find the question...as I'm looking for this question I'm getting tons of other thoughts so here goes.  The question comes down to this, if money were no object what would you be doing? Right now I'd spend time learning more about the contributions and ideas of people of Afri...

 I remember learning about a year ago about the message Martin Luther King would have delivered Sunday April 7 1968, had he not been killed.  It was titled Why America May Go to Hell.   I've been asked to lead a ...let's call it a teaching session for my college to commemorate Dr. King and I'm looking to explore some of his more radical messages that were very critical of American politics and economics.  I think I may have found an actual transcript.  It's posted on a medium site and I'm looking to vet this. In the process of that I thought to reach out to Dr. Clark to see what insights he could give on this. I see that he did a blog on King back in 2020 so I'll check that out. For some reason, Dr. Daniel White Hodge came to mind.  It took me a minute to remember his name but he has a book on Intercultural Communication that I have yet to read but yeah... it's the connection to critical, socially just Christianity and what's fascinating is that he is...