Black Tie Lounge

 I heard somewhere that when you don't know what to say, write and when you don't know what to think read. I read so much that my mind is full of so many things I want to say. What I want to say right now goes back to what I believe I should have discerned and said in the moment. Someone that I consider a friend, now I'm considering to what degree we are friends. Is it more about my personal loyalty because of time or is it something else. We have history but all that aside, he spoke to me about something concerning his children that has implications on my child.  I need to pull apart a couple of things.  Where I go wrong is when I don't narrate the value of my child. My child is extroverted and he loves people. People love him. He is 5 years old and people take to him.  He is friendly and he can be attached when he makes a connection.  I'm trying my best to fully recall what was said but what I recall was him bringing up the last time our kids were together and how

 I really like writers, speakers and educators who have themes and explore them. It's a great way to organize something and it just shows such creativity when one is able to find a connecting thread.  It make it easier for the listener. I don't know I really like it. Today my wife is being honored by the Commonwealth.  This is an incredible accomplishment. Afterward I am headed to co-facilitate a 3 day workshop. We'll see how this goes. This morning I woke up and reviewed the ministry website for Friendship-West. After hearing Pastor Haynes speak at last year's CRT Summer School I have been following his ministry. Three years ago . . . sounds like I need to go help my son get ready to get up out of here. I hope to be back soon. I'm back now and I'm attempting to journal through all the noise distractions of my son, my wife's phone and getting ready. This has been a huge characteristic of life these days desiring to find peace and not be distracted by the foo

It's the summer of 2024. My son starts camp today. I came from the men's summit.  Had an incredible Father's Day. All the more reminder that my priority is God, my wife, my son.  I found myself going into the summit feeling like  . . .  I'm really looking for connection. I want to be included.  These are feelings that I have often and have struggled with often.  There are moments that I start to feel envious and unseen when I know I have come a long way and God sees me. I know it in my head but I fight to feel it in my heart. I can write it off as a struggle for attention but I do wonder what is underneath it.  I came to the conclusion that the emotional intimacy I know I need, but run away from, that what is available to me I discard it because it comes in a form that doesn't meet my expectation is a reflection of where I am with God.  God I know I have not pursued you.  Yes, the reality of the season is that it is much harder than before. I didn't expect it to