Black Tie Lounge

 Maybe not my best fast day. I attended the virtual mens group and honestly I couldn't find the words to really lay it all on the table for everyone. Some of it is that I feel bad because I fell like I should be grateful but I have to speak my truth. Lord, I've been experiencing some subtle anxiety as it relates to this house.  I realize that when things get rough or overwhelming I try to hide from it and not deal with it.  I believe that you will work things out with this home for us. We will get the financing. I declare that this house will be brought down to an affordable price for us and that you will make a way beyond what we could imagine. Your name is riding on this.  Despite the tight situations we have found ourselves in, we have had a roof over our head, we have not gone hungry. You have showed your goodness. So as it seems to be getting tighter God I have to really work in my heart and mind that you will come through for my family. You will come through fo...

 I'm getting my dates mixed up and merged.   What am I seeking God for in this fast? I'm seeking all around breakthrough for my life, my family, my community and the world.  I'm seeking breakthrough in my marriage and in my parenting. That I would have God's perspective of my wife and son. That selfishness would be held at bay and that I'd choose joy in how I relate to them.  That I'd find satisfaction and get out of this "well I don't want to do that, I want to be by myself."  That I'd take hold of that purpose as a husband and father. I seek breakthrough over this house and all things related to it.  That God you'd write a story where the builders/developers etc deal with us justly and with favor.  That the You'd come through for us in this closing process like no other. Help me to see this house the way You do. Help me to hold on to the truth that this is the house you found for us. I see that whenever I travel to Barnes' school ...

 I'm at Day 2. It's after 10pm but it's important that I follow through.  What's coming up for me: I just finished doing some early grading on my winter public speaking course. It's incredible all the things I have to say to pour into students when I'm NOT under a whole lot of pressure. I think that I saw that when I was teaching the classes at Emerson.  This year didn't feel like a strong year for teaching. I'm sorry.  But look at how I do my best work, at least I feel it emotionally when I'm not rushing and I'm moving at a healthy pace. It's something to be said. Today, I spent most of the day crafting e-mails thinking about the kick off for social justice prayer.  I'd like to see that ministry expand beyond our weekly prayer calls. I'm not sure what ...some type of community that is speaking into what is going on around us, in our communities and giving voice to what God is saying or what God has always said about certain things of...

I just had 20 different thoughts. I'm thinking about Justice Prayer, what questions should I ask my pastor, should I ask the team?  Who is available to be my sounding board? If I'm honest with myself I think I knew for awhile that I should step in. I just question my intellect and ability primarily because I compare myself with others and look down upon where I am. I was given this 10 day assignment over a year ago, let's go. I'm actually excited to engage in it. So 10 days of journaling 20-30 minutes and after 10 days come back and review what was shared.  I won't judge myself. I'll look for patterns. So the question is this: O raised this and so did the book by Pete.  Let me go find the question...as I'm looking for this question I'm getting tons of other thoughts so here goes.  The question comes down to this, if money were no object what would you be doing? Right now I'd spend time learning more about the contributions and ideas of people of Afri...